Realization (about love ulit. sorry senti lang!)

Ako ay isang babaeng punong-puno ng pagmamahal pero walang nagmamahal

(me ganun?? Drama naman. Hehe =P).

Ang buhay ko’y tunay na nakakaboring parang isang walang saysay na istorya. Walang ka kwenta-kwenta pero marami akong kaibigan na nagpaalakas ng loob ko at nagbibigay ng mga dahilan para ako ay maging masaya. Sila yung mga taong nagpaparamdam sakin kung ganu nila ko kailangan, kung gaano ako ka importante sa kanila.

“Everything happens for a reason” yan ang pinaka motto ko sa buhay ngayon. I used to be a person who always thinks positive.And a person who would never lie.But I realized, All these years I’m living three fourths of my life in total bogus. Minsan nga hindi ko na alam kung alin ang tunay at totoo. Dahil ang laging sinasabi sakin ng ibang tao na “all that shine is real”. Yan! Yan! Yan ang pagkakaalam ko dati, hanggang sa isang araw habang ako’y nakikipaglaban sa damdamin ko. Oo, isa akong pretender pero hindi basta bastang pretender dahil I am a great pretender (hahaha!). madalas makikita ako ng mga kaibigan ko na laging masaya. Iniisip nila na wala akong problema pero hindi nila alam na napakarami kong problema sa buhay. Isa na dyan ay yung problema ko sa pag-ibig. Pakiramdam ko ni minsan di ko pa naranasang mahalin ako kung anu ako at kung sino ako. all I want to do is to sit beside someone I love, someone I trust my life completely. Bakit nga ba ang hirap para sakin na matagpuan yun? Yun bang mga bagay na yon eh nangyayari lang sa pelikula? Hindi ko gusto ang isang magandang lalaki. Ang gusto ko ay yung lalaking totoong mahal ako. Pero dapat mahal ko din. Isang tao na may paninindigan at dignidad sa buhay. Isang tao na nakikita ang kabutihan at kagandahan ng isang tao sa likod ng pisikal na kaanyuan nito. Isang tao na handang gawin ang lahat para mabuhay at para matupad ang lahat ng kanyang mga pangarap sa buhay. One who’ll keep quiet when I’m mad, and after that will keep me in his arms and hug me tight, kiss all my tears away.Isang tao na magsasabi sakin kung anu ang tama at kung anu ang mali. Isang tao na hindi natatakot sakin kundi takot na mawala ako sa kanya. Isang tao na mamahalin lahat ng kagandahan at kapangitan ko. Someone that who will love me as me, nothing more nothing less.

Well, hindi naman talaga walang nagmamahal sakin. meron naman. pero ako lang siguro talaga ang problema. Sabi ko nga, hopeless romantic ako. Gusto ko may spark. may kilig. may ngiti di lang sa labi, dapat abot hanggang puso ko. At yun marahil ang hinahanap ko. Isang tao lang naman ang nakakagawa nun. haay. balik na naman ang kwento sa kanya. bakit nga ba ganun? lagi na lang bang iikot ang mundo ko sa kanya. ilang beses ko na ngang tinanong sarili ko kung ano ba pinakain nya sakin at ganito na lang kung alagaan ko yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya. It's not that I cant move on. maybe i just dont want to. Maybe it has got to do with the promise I made: He will be the last guy I'll love. Pero promises are made to be broken naman di ba? bakit di ko ma break???

Ganun pa man, malungkot man ako minsan, nagpapasalamat pa din ako dahil sa kanya, natuto akong magmahal ng buong puso. Natuto akong tanggapin ang lahat ng bagay masama man ito o mabuti. Natuto akong magpatawad. Wala man sya ngayon sa piling ko Physically but in my heart there is always a place for him where he should be. dito sa puso ko mananatili ang mga masasayang alaala na kasama pa ko sya. =)



God is really good, All the time.

My Pampanga to Subic trip 2010

This is actually My first time to visit these places.

First stop was San Guillermo Parish Church in Bacolor,Pampanga. It is one of the oldest and largest churches in the philippines. Only half of the original facade of the church can be seen today due to the eruption of Mount Pinatubo in 1991 which half-buried the church. It was really an interesting site! Stayed there for an hour, enough to take pictures.

Next was Adventure Beach in Subic Bay where I had lunch (Yummy!) . After lunch, I checked out Camayan Beach resort, which is actually just beside it (And just beside Ocean Adventure, Can you imagine!). Strolled and took some pictures after pictures. Fine, white sand! (but not as white in boracay, I think. never been there. i'll go check it out next time.harhar!) It was very refreshing. relaxing. Just what i needed!

And Next of course was Ocean adventure. First in the list of "activities" was Walk on the Wild Side. Walk on the Wild Side is Ocean Adventure’s newest animal show, this time featuring wildlife of the forest. The show begins with a demonstration by the local indigenous Aetas and their ingenious use of one simple plant, bamboo. They demonstrate their amazing ability to build and light a fire without matches, and to create a variety of utensils and tools from bamboo. Walk on the Wild Side then transports guests into the forest at night, where we explore the sights of sounds of the deep dark forest. On our “walk” we meet a variety of birds, bats, mammals, and reptiles. Then, next was the Dolphin and Whale Presentation. Next was Discovery Aquarium, which looks like Ocean Park in Manila but smaller. Next was Rap, Jump, and Roll.Rap, Jump, and Roll is a variety show that has some very creative ways of teaching kids about the marine environment and the animals that live in it. With a backdrop of a colorful coral reef 3-D wall, the show features high flying trampoline performers displaying the patterns and colors of reef fishes, plus the Ocean Adventure mascots. Through trampoline antics, rap, comedy, and dance we explore a variety of environmental and animal-related subjects with the message to take action in small ways. And lastly, the Sea Lion Marine Patrol Show. I forgot the SeaLion's name but it was very entertaining and delightful show, perfect for all ages.

I've decided to come back soon and see Zoobic Safari! Yey!

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