Why do I always experience this when I happen to be alone?

I was just at the bank running an errand, when my puson began to hurt. I had been doing fine the whole day. Why is it that just when I went out, it started? I started feeling dizzy and broke into a cold sweat. The dizziness turned to nausea. I made it through the line and headed straight for home. I was supposed to have dinner with a friend but at this point I was glad I made it home ok.

Excruciating pain coupled with dizziness. This happens to me every once in a while when I get my period.

I just have to weather this out alone.

Sometimes I feel as if I’ve lost all my friends. Theoretically, I know that despite time and distance, my friends are still my friends. But even those that aren’t that far away seem like friends from a lifetime ago.

Is it me? I know I’m not one to make frequent phone calls, even if that’s the best way to stay in touch. But when I do try to call, and people don’t call back, then I just feel as if my efforts are wasted. Besides, sometimes I wonder, maybe we just don’t have that much in common anymore. We have a shared past, full of wonderful memories. But the future? I feel adrift, like I’ve lost several of my old anchors. I’m thankful that my family is my support system, but sometimes family is not enough.

I need friends in the here and now, that I can hang out with, and share the mundane daily concerns of my existence. People I can call when I want to go for a night on the town, or hang out and play board games in their apartment. People with whom I feel its okay to talk about the little details, that each conversation doesn’t need to revolve around something of significance.

Now that I think about it, maybe I don’t need more friends. Maybe I need a boyfriend. But then who would I talk to about my (yet non-existent) boyfriend?

It’s been a long while since I’ve read a regular book of fiction. Lately it’s been a slew of nonfiction books, but before that it was mostly fantasy, sci-fi, or something with an element other than reality in it. In contrast, Rosie is so — normal almost, about the details and nitty gritty of a family’s life. It seems like it should be boring, but it’s not. It’s wonderfully well-written, thoughtful and gritty and real. I think fiction works best when it reflects to you some aspect of your life, so you see yourself in the character’s shoes and understand what they’re feeling, and at the same time understanding yourself a little bit more, and your own life situation.

The part I related to the most was Rosie’s mom Elizabeth falling in love. I remember the feeling — giddy excitement, an almost constant state of euphoria, and near-obsessive thoughts of your loved one. And I related to the crash that inevitably comes with love — the feeling of pain and betrayal, the shards of glass that pierce your heart when something goes wrong between you and your love. I say inevitably because it *will* happen, it’s the recovery from it that is the difficult part, and whether you and your love will do the recovering together.

I had been looking forward to the day I find someon and fall in love, but now I remember too well the crushing sorrow of heartbreak. And so I’m a little bit scared, and I wonder if I get my heart broken, would I still be able to recover?

Well, the book had a happy ending. I hope my story ends the same way.

Sometimes, you get so wrapped up in your own little world you neglect to look at the big picture.

You have something good, but you want more. It’s hard to remember to be grateful for what you have.

I am definitely not advocating being content with just whatever and not striving to improve your lot in life.

But if you don’t look at the rest of the world, you lose your perspective and forget how much you already have and how much you have to share with others.

What is with Friendster nowadays? Why do I keep getting these random messages from people who want to befriend me?

I’ve always liked clean slates.

I’ve finally come out of that transition phase and my life is starting along the path where I want it to be. I’ve been at my new job for slightly over a month, and am quickly adjusting to everything there. I haven’t yet implemented all the changes I’ve been planning in my life but I’m slowly working towards those goals.

There are times I feel very lonely. My friends feel so far away, and I don’t get to talk to them as much as I used to.

I’ve finally stepped out of that comfort zone, wiped my slate clean, and began my journey to find out more about myself along the way.