What does it mean when a day disappears? When you can’t remember anything that happened that day, and its as if the day never even existed.

It may mean that you’re just going through the motions in life. Sticking to standard routines and drudgery, just lather, rinse and repeat.

Or it could mean that you’re just not noticing things. Like the little funny event that happened that day. A conversation with someone. A beautiful sky overhead.

Sometimes we need to open our eyes to the little things that make each day different from the last. Somehow today I failed to do that.

So much for Vitamin C. I took it yesterday, but I got sick anyway. Fever, hacking cough, sore throat, sluggish feeling and all that.

I’ve realized something though. When I’m sick, I want to be babied. I want someone to come in and give me my medicine, I like my meals served in my room. I like the idea of someone checking in on me every so often, to see if my fever has gone down.

Heck if I’m feeling sick, I might as well make the most of it.

Urgh. For some reason I am feeling sluggish and heavy today, and my throat feels funny when I swallow. I usually get to feeling this way when I’m about to get sick. NO! Must not get sick, too much work to do.

This is just one of those days when I hate being a girl. You would too, if you felt dizzy with your insides twisting and blood gushing out. Am I being too graphic?

It’s usually tolerable most of the time, but there are days when it’s just too painful and all you want to do is curl up into a little ball. Plus, it happened unexpectedly at work, so I was unprepared.

Alone in the crowd is the phrase that comes to mind when I attempt to describe my experience today. It makes you realize how much you depend on others for — I dont know, a sense of comfort, of feeling at ease in public places.

I was at the most public of places : SM Megamall. I was supposed to meet up with a friend. And that person is still at home. The meeting place was crawling with people.

I would like to be more comfortable with solitude. Most of the people who are here alone project an attitude of expectation, of waiting. Their entire body language screams, I am not alone by choice, my companion just hasn’t arrived yet. Rare is the person who is comfortably alone, who came here purposely to enjoy the evening in solitude, even if that solitude involves being silent in the midst of so many other people.

At first, it can be uncomfortable being alone. You try and look busy, texting your friends, looking frequently at your watch, even whip out a pen and notebook and compose your blog entry. After a while, you settle back, and take to watching people. You observe the way they walk, the way they dress, the way they talk to their friends. You begin to make up little stories about them. Look at that shy couple, out on their first date together. That girl is mad at her friends because they were supposed to meet at 4pm and they aren’t here yet. Wait a minute. That’s just me projecting my frustration on her.