Eversince,whenever I feel unwanted, I just quietly withdraw myself and just silently take my way out. I was never the one to make efforts to redeem myself or vindicate myself over doing something spectacular or astounding. It's not the it's-your-loss-not-mine snooty kind of mentality, actually it's quite the opposite. I feel more of sadness and dishearten that if I feel not being liked, I'll just stay away to lighten their burdens a bit and i realized that i'm mature enough to stoop down to their levels.
This week I also learned that it's much harder to pull a smile when you feel your face is pulling down. It's like there's a huge wave of downcast enveloping your soul. I've always had a sly face to cover everything but somehow, I never knew how to battle sadness of being unwanted.
I am human who's never contented and will always look for the other side. I am not happy but I am trying everyday. As I remind myself, blessings, mundane as they can be, are still blessings. I don't want to have regrets to have them back again once I don't have them anymore.
After going through the ordeal of self-denial, here comes the unexpected truth that I can't even handle. Its because when someone reminds me of how I want to live my life, I knew I failed but no, Im actually on my way soon. Thanks to you people! Check on your life first before judging mine! You just don't know how I make my everyday to be a new learning ground and live my life the way I want it to be.
You can't crucify someone who is living a life that you so want to have.
Your life won't get any easier just because you think you have drag someone down with you.
Stop All the hypocrisy.
